I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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