There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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