we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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