just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
True college students do jello shots in the library
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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