I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
