i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
