Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
