real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
