i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
