after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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