hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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