i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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