can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
