i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize