oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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