Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
