ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
