That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
