I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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