im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
