Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
