wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
