she looked like the before picture.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
