Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
time to smoke my breakfast
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
