it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
