we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
