sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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