census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
