No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
did i just pee glitter
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
