i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
