Just mADE A PArabola og urine
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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