Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize