Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
