remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
