Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
