Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
we're so committed to being not committed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
