I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
