During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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