What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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