we have pet lesbian snakes
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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