You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's just like the Real World with babies
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
