There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
