check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
