I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
