Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
