please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
