I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have aggressive nipples.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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