She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize