I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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