all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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