Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize