would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
