If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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