so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He felt like a one man threesome
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
