No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
