Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
