butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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